Tale of Alan Planned Text

[ForestDragon]

hi everyone, i decided to share with you some of my dialogue text for planned parts of my campaign Tale of Alan, might be nice to get some feedback, just for minor polishing, or something, btw, spoilers for Tale of Alan Episode 2 (planned, i won't start working on it too soon, but i decided to make some ideas first)

Episode 1 New Intro:

N-narrator
N:Greetings, dear reader,i am pretty sure you heard a lot of stories about paladins, yes, those noble monk warriors, who are devoted to their virtues so much, that it puts knight to shame.A lot of stories about them are pretty basic, but let me tell you mine, what i am about to tell you is true and actually happened, and not some typical made-up tall tale.
N:So let's start from the beginning. Once upon a time during the reign of Halric V, in the southeastern parts of Wesnoth, there lived a village elder, whose real name was unknown, but he was called Joe. One day, he was just taking a walk in the forest as usual, but then, he heard horse footsteps nearby, he turned around, and saw an adept riding a horse and carrying a newborn child.
N:Joe waled in their way, and they said to him:
Adept:hey, old man! get out of our way, Master needs this newborn to be delivered to him, and if keep standing there, i'll just kill you, Master won't tolerate me taking longer than i should, understood?
Joe:and may i ask, where in the world did you get this child from?!
Adept:none of your business, get out of my way, this is the last warning!
Joe:I won't let you!
Adept:You'll regret this...
N:And then, the adept tried to blast him with a cold spell, but Joe managed to dodge it, and said:
Joe:Give the child to me, they don't belong in the claws of scum like you!
and then he grabbed the hunting bow he carried on his back, and shot the adept right through, thus killing him, before death, the adept said:
Adept:*cough* Master *cough* won't be *cough* pleased...
N:and after that, Joe adopted the child, whose name is Alan (it was on a label attached to his wrapping), and raised him as his own, teaching him to Read,Write and other things (most peasants don't know those things, but Joe decided to teach him)
N:Alan's life was pretty much normal from when he was 1 to 12, but then came that one day, that changed his life forever...

scenario 1 begins

Guard Character (needs name):

Talkative Protector (will have a name, and storyline importance) (A-Alan P-Protector):
A:Hello
P:What is so urgent that you disturb me from my duties
A:Nothing, just wanted to chat
P:Ok, but dont get too carried away, heh, i am not really allowed to chat during my shift, but the Grand Protector is currently kind of busy with the council meeting so i guess there is nothing to hold me from doing so, i guess
opt1 A:How does it feel being of of those guards?
P:Well, we don't really have much spare time, pretty much only during the nightshift for some, or dayshift for others, during our shifts, we pretty much have to stand in a single spot all day long, that kind of stuff, and you don't really wanna know what they do to those that don't feel like doing so. but yeah, kind of got used to this sort of thing.
A:Well, could be better
P:Yeah...
opt2 A:Who is Grand Protector?
P:Well, he used to be one of our best, but then after some time he got promoted to a council member, since then , besides beign on those meetings, of course, he keeps check of guards to make sure they don't get too bored,sleepy,or ignorant, but when they are, he has ways to pu them back in place, you better not know about it...
A:ok
P:Speaking of council members, your master, Aethenvan, is actually one of them too
#normal (not heard of it):
#A:wow, i thought he was an average paladin, well, this also explains why he has that expensive fur cloak
#P:yeah, those council members like wearing fancy clothing, did you know that Grand Protector has an armor made of drake steel, and covered in a thin layer of gold?
#A:impressive!
#when told by White Order members
#A:yeah <insert name> told me about that
#P:yeah, speaking of council members, they like wearing fancy clothing, did you know that Grand Protector has an armor made of drake steel, and covered in a thin layer of gold?
#A:impressive!
when told by Trader:
A:well, yeah, i recall someone in a black cloak telling me about it
P:a necromancer? why would one ever need to tell you that?
A:no, he told me to call him 'Trader'
#P:*gasps* keep your voice down!
P:*gasps* don't you dare say his name that loud!
P:*turns around to check if anyone is listening*
A:huh, what's wrong
P:i'll explain, but first, let's go somewhere, where <i>they</i> won't hear us chatter,after all, there are eyes and ears everywhere,almost everywhere
*both go somewhere (not came up with where yet)*
P:So, how much did you get involved with him?
A:well, just bought a few potions, and chatted a bit
P:so, he only offered you potions?
A:yeah, nothing else, by the way,he personally said to me that Aethenvan is one of his favourite customers
P:yeah, so the rumors are indeed true, there,s always been some hush-hush theories lurking around here, about the fact that council members trade with <i>him</i> pretty often, when they aren't seen, well, congrats on confirming the first part, but what is really the reason behind all the rumors, is the words surrounding the things they buy.Well, judjing by the stuff i heard, what you bought is innocent compared to <i>other</i> things mentioned.But yeah, why would an average paladin need those things?, and by the way, i heard <i>he</i> knows how to make a good impression to the newcomers, so yeah, i understand why you underestimated him.
A:I... I didn't know it was all on this scale
P:relax kid, i'll keep it in secret, and remember, you can always count on a Protector's promise, not that we make them <i>too</i> often, but when we do, you can count on it.
P:and remember, not a single word about it to the council members, should you tell them about it, and your head definately won't be where it currently is understood?
A:Yes sir!
P:ah, no need to call me like that, i am just a regular guard, haha, remember, stay out of trouble, pal, ok?
end

Second interact in next scen.
A:Hi!
P:Oh, look who we have here, eh? it's you again, haha, nice to see ya kiddo, how's it going? So yeah, not a single word about <i>him</i>?
A:Nope, not a single one.
P:Me too, yeah

a few misc guard dialogues:

third interact
A:Hi!
P:<b>You have a deathwish, or what?!</b>
fourth interact
A:Hi!
P:<b>I swear, if you dare to annoy me like that again, i am going to kill you, you little &!*@ !!!</b>
attempt to interact the fifth time
A:*to himself*i don't think it's a good idea
trying to go near guarded locked doors
P:No trespassing, this is a resticted area! only council members allowd, this ain't a place for youth like you!
A:sorry