Need some fake bullying comments about campaigns for a meta-campaign

[MathBrush]

I'm making one last campaign, a Loyalist campaign. I made a poll on what kind of campaign to do, a creepypasta, a 'you're the villain', or a holy grail quest, and all three got equal responses, so I'm doing a blend of the three.

In my campaign you play through bits of an old Wesnoth's other campaigns, and you find out that he was having real life troubles that he put into the game, including his divorce and depression. Sometimes NPCs break character and talk about real world things, and sometimes they don't. The idea will be that this guy disappeared and all his campaigns were lost in the early 2010s, and the narrator is trying to find out what happened to him.

Near the end, I want one of the final scenarios to be the developer quitting because other players and devs didn't like his campaigns and left negative comments about them. Every time an enemy kills one of your units, or every five or so turns, the enemy units will say some quote about one of the campaigns. Like 'The plotline of _____ was too basic', or 'I thought the final battle of ______ was boring'.

I was originally going to try to find negative comments of my own past campaigns to use (since my other campaigns are the ones I'm taking scenarios from in-game), but the more I looked for comments the more I saw how kind and well-thought out they were. Even people who were negative were being constructive, and people who didn't like one campaign were nice about others.

But that means I need some negative comments of some kind. So, I could use your help! Imagine a developer making a series of bland or just plain bad campaigns. What would a really mean player say about these imaginary campaigns? Or, if you're a dev, what's the kind of comment you would hate to say that would make you want to quit?

If you have actual negative feedback about one of my real campaigns (in my signature) you want me to add, I will, but imaginary is just fine!

If no one comments, I'll just make some up on my own. Thanks for everyone's help!

[Celtic_Minstrel]

(Note: Some of these may sound more convincing with a few more typos and the like, or swapping out synonyms. Or if you just use them as inspiration rather than using them verbatim, that's fine too.)

How could you ever think it would be fun for the main character to be killed off in the third scenario?

Boring, so boring. Boring characters, boring battles, boring maps. Why did you even bother making this? I just wasted five hours of my life on it.

The first two scenarios were interesting but then it suddenly turned dark and I was like, what the hell man? I came for a light comedy, not a dark tragedy!

I've played text adventures that were more interesting than this garbage.

It took me six hours just to beat the final boss. If your goal was to make it an impossible battle, you pretty much succeeded. Congrats, I hope you're happy.

The plot was so predictable that I was yawning at every cutscene.

What the hell is this convoluted piece of trash? You want me to pick up the broken item one piece at a time, and then put all the pieces one at a time on the repair table, and then click it about sixty times, and then pick up the item before I'm finally allowed to equip it? Did you actually try playing this yourself? (Or substitute any similarly convoluted process you can think of.)

Ugh, this was linear as all heck. If I want to watch a movie I'll download a movie. If I want to play a game I expect to have choices, dammit!

(…okay, I think that's enough for now?)

[MathBrush]

Thank you, this is very useful! I'd love to use some of these and include you in the credits. The text adventure one made me laugh, the 'suddently turned dark' one fits perfectly in the overall setting, and several of the others work perfectly as well.

[white_haired_uncle]

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Because it's now, any reference to chatGPT. Or systemd. But I repeat myself.

Vogon poetry.

Some variation of one of my personal online favorites, where someone spends 15 minutes composing a reply to a thread to tell everyone how utterly uninterested they were in the topic.

Any references/quotes from the opening scene of Holy Grail at Doune Castle.

Your mom's basement.

Visual Basic.

[white_haired_uncle]

And of course:

https://groups.google.com/g/comp.os.minix/c/wlhw16QWltI

[MathBrush]

Thanks! Lots of good stuff in there!

[DuncanDill]

(this is my attempt at being funny, btw the spelling mistakes are intentional)

I actually liked this campaign, although some of the dialogue could be better. The story was quite funny a parts, and hit the emotions well. I even shed a tear at scenario 8. I absolutely loved the hero in this one, and the villain played it's role well too. And how did you make such amazing maps? They were all really beautiful... This was definitely a 4/5 if not a 5! Would play again -- SAID NOBODY EVER, YOURE CAMPAINGS ARE MORE LIKE CAM-PAINS-. I h8 u!!!!

(some more generic ones)

Not another [censored] campaign!? You can't keep using the same story. AND FOR THE LAST TIME - ADDING A CUSTOM UNIT DOES NOT FIX YOUR TERRIBLE WRITING SKILLS

I feel sorry for you, imagine being so bad at writing campaigns! Lol...

That was terrible!! Maybe a campaign about paint drying would be better?

L+RATIO+BOZO+U SUCK+Y R U SO BAD+LLL+BAAAAAD

[lhybrideur]

Corridors. When did you think it would be OK to have a map that is only corridors? This is Wesnoth. Choke points are terrible, still you made a map that is only choke points. Congrats. I quit.

Have you even played Wesnoth? Because it looks like you made this campaign for a whole other game.

100 turns? That's a no.

How am I supposed to finish the scenario in 12 turns?

Stop trying to write decent campaigns. This is not gonna happen.

[BajMic]

"...and then, out of nowhere! Gruu appeared and instantly got himself killed."

"At least THESE wolves didn't spawn on top of us."

"Perhaps fighting trolls in corridors is what keeps the playerbase low."

"You are not supposed to fight elves on forest tiles... unless it's a campaign, then it's your only choice."

"I never know which way these rivers are supposed to flow."

"I cast... SAVESCUM!"

"Protip: the enemy player doesn't play to win, just to kill your advanced units. Have fun."

[MathBrush]

Thank you all for the great quotes! I plan on including all the depressing ones, but I might save the funny ones for any future projects. Really appreciate this!