Era of Magic: Summoners

[artisticdude]

Hmm, maybe redundancy would be acceptable in this case, although it seems rather misplaced to me. Perhaps 'perfect accuracy' or 'deadly precision'? I think having another adjective might solve it?

[Icarusvogel]

Yes, that sounds better. "Deadly precision" is the best.

[AI]

How about:

Summoners promoted to the Second Degree have learned the basics of their art, and no longer require external mediums. Instead, they hold a small summoning circle in their hands, used to launch magical arrows with deadly precision. Upon their promotion, they receive a ceremonial hammer, which they use alongside their scimitar.

[Araja]

Good, good

Grand Summoner

Summoners, scholars and warriors alike, will eventually reach the Second Degree provided with enough talent and cunning. The Third Degree, however, does not come easily to non-geniuses of the arts.
"With (enough/sufficient) talent and cunning, any summoner can eventually reach the Second Degree, although reaching the Third Degree will challenge all but a true genius of the arts"

'Grand summoners,' as they are called by their peers,
This part is very long, and could use a stronger link with the previous sentences. "Those who succeed are known as Grand Summoners (by their peers?)..."

I know I repeated "reach" words, and the end is slightly odd, but I get stuck on every description I do these days.
For whatever reason, I'm getting worse at this.

[AzuSkyLigh]

All right, guys, major thanks for your help on the two summoners! Adding these changes in right now! S'all right, Araja, dedication will definitely lead the way for you across the mass of descriptions awaiting you in the future

Oh, and go all out on the Summons Master, if you can! I especially dislike that description, so it could do with a lot of help

[artisticdude]

If you're worried about having 'reach' in there too many times, why not try replacing it with 'attain' or 'achieve', or something similar.

[Araja]

I was worried about it conflicting with the previous "although" word. "although attaining the..." and "although achieving the..." both use alliteration, which is something I never liked to do while writing.

I'm still on the Grand Summoner...

'Grand summoners,' as they are called by their peers, value both war and wisdom equally in earning their precious knowledge of summoning elementals from the Abyss.

Respected and feared, grand summoners eliminate foes with absolute certainty in the wake of their circles of destruction

I noticed the Summons master has a similar position to the Great Mage, which is beyond the reach of other men. As the Summoners master is so rare a title, I experimented with describing the Grand Summoner as the highest position a man can normally reach, much like the Arch Mage. This is a first draft, but should give you the idea. I'm struggling to find ways of mentioning their summoning ability, but might have to let it drop.

Those that do are known as Grand Summoners, and are highly respected by their peers. This is as far as most men can go, and is considered the crowning achievement of a summoner's life.

[AzuSkyLigh]

Thank you, Araja! Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I'm glad you're helping out and please continue to do so at your own pace, whether fast or slow I'm planning to start working on the Kharos soon, if you want to know, but I'll still make sure to include your edits on the Summoners faction as you proceed. Your edits have given me a good impression on what I need to add/subtract from my writing style, so thank you for the help thus far

[Araja]

My pace is certainly slow, mainly because of this breakdown I've had working on the Summoner lines. It might be a better idea for me to skip ahead and try to get the air and earth elementals done. My work drive has been missing for awhile, but half term is coming up soon which should give me an empty week.

[Araja]

Well...here's a token effort:

Air Elemental

Original:

Air elementals are magical entities built entirely out of the Abyss' atmosphere. Summoned elementals, introduced in a world where air is omnipresent, regenerate their bodies continually with time's passage. Given their anatomies, elementals of this variety are quick and evasive, albeit having a delicate frame that could be destroyed instantly by a well-placed attack. However, a 'well-placed attack' would be difficult to place on these elementals, given their highly resistant bodies of air.

Still, summoners who stir such beings into their world know that an air elemental could vanish just as quickly as it was summoned forth.

Redone:

Air elementals are magical entities (built / spawned) from the atmosphere of the Abyss. Summoned elementals, introduced in a world where air is omnipresent, renew themselves constantly with the passage of time. Given their anatomies, elementals of this variety are quick and evasive, while their bodies are resistant to physical attack.

Still, the summoners who call them into the world know they can vanish as quickly as they were summoned forth.

[Icarusvogel]

How about:

Summoners promoted to the Second Degree have learned the basics of their art, and no longer require external mediums. Instead, they hold a small summoning circle in their hands, used to launch magical arrows with deadly precision. Upon their promotion, they receive a ceremonial hammer, which they use alongside their scimitar.

One tiny correction: "External media", not "external mediums". Otherwise, very nice.

[AzuSkyLigh]

How about:

One tiny correction: "External media", not "external mediums". Otherwise, very nice.

Gotcha! Okay then

[Icarusvogel]

Araja wrote this:
Air elementals are magical entities (built / spawned) from the atmosphere of the Abyss. Summoned elementals, introduced in a world where air is omnipresent, renew themselves constantly with the passage of time. Given their anatomies, elementals of this variety are quick and evasive, while their bodies are resistant to physical attack.

I decided I might like a go at this one too - what about this?

Air elementals are magical entities drawn from the atmosphere of the Abyss. By entering our world, where air is omnipresent, they develop a remarkable ability to renew themselves constantly using their surroundings to replenish their magical form. Elementals of this type are quick and evasive, and blows aimed at them tend to pass through their bodies as if the aggressor had swung his weapon through nothingness.